Pedrouza to Santiago: The end or the beginning? ❤
I left Junction Pedrouzo the 13th of July 2018 exactly 38 days after I started in St. Jean Pied du Port.
I was sleeping at a 3 beds pension together with two other pilgrims in this city, (all due to all the school classes and other tourist pilgrims, there only took the 114 km trip from Sarria to get a certificate) so there was not any more space at the hostels when we (real pilgrims) at least arrived at 4pm. What to do then, other than book a pension for 3.
This last night at Camino, was very special, we went to the supermarked, got some chocolate, something to drink. After this we went for eating a real nice Paella with vegetables.
Back in our pension we started talking about, what this Camino had been doing for our body, mind and soul, if we had any expectations before we came, if we felt changed in anyway, we were looking back in our books and somehow we suddenly could remember more from all the cities and landmarks we have seen.
The morning of the 13th, I did start my walking with one of my pilgrim friends from our pension, but we were only walking together until our breakfast restaurant. There for some reason, we decided to split up, without talking about it, and to do the walk 18 km into Santiago alone and in silence.
Suddenly it felt so strange, to be so close to Santiago, after so many days and so many kilometers of walking. To walk alone, in our own thoughts, seems to be the only right thing to do. We didn´t talk about it, it just happened at the café, when suddenly large groups of tourist pilgrims walked in. I sent my friend away (she only had colacao, so she was finish before me, who had a real breakfast), in silence we hugged each other and said “I will see you in Santiago” and then she walked.
I hurried up, went to the bathroom and left the restaurant alone, where the sunrise meanwhile was painting the most wonderful light on the sky and in the background I could hear all the cliks from all other pilgrims walking sticks, on this beautiful forest path. It went, of course uphill, what else? Oh we have had so many up- and downhills, so I knew that there soon would be another downhill, and so it was.
Soon I left all the tourist pilgrims behind me, and then I was total alone on the path, it was so nice, my thoughts was like this: Did I realize anything on this tour, how could I ever walk this 800 km km? How could I ever even think of being doing it? To climb a mountain or 3? I couldn´t understand how I did it. I have allways being afraid of heights, and suddenly I found myself climbing mountains, how could I do this, who made it possible for me to do it?
After another 10 km there was a new bar/restaurant and that was so good, because I really needed coffee and a break! While I was sitting there, there suddenly arrived a Danish married couple, and we ofcourse started to talk. It showed up, that they had done the tour several times, but only one time they had started from St. Jean Pied du Port in France. He, the man told me, that I should not be surprised when I started to cry on my way into Santiago, and if I didn´t cry there, he was completely sure, that I would burst into tears at the mass in the Cathedral. And off they went, I never met them again.
I did, at that point start to quest myself, while I was walking, why should I cry? I didn´t at that point have the feeling about that. I walked up and down, up and down , saw the most beautiful landshape along this walk, and then suddenly I realized that I was at the last hill before Santiago, and I really don’t know from there, what happened to me, but as I took pictures of the Cruz and the monuments and of the sight of Santiago below the hill, it was laying in sunshine, while we at the top, at that time were cloudy.
I saw Santiago down there, I saw all the Koreans, all the bikers, all the schoolkids, all the Tourist walkers, and all the tourists there just wanted to see this point, and then I saw all the pilgrims, Koreans, Canadians, Americans, Europeans, I saw all the pilgrims from all over the world, and my thoughts was, that we were all alike, no matter of the colour of our skin, no matter how many steps we have walked, we were all human beings, there took this journey, for some reason, and I suddenly didn´t care if those 100 km tourist walkers got a diploma or not.. Because I had not walked in their shoes, I didn´t know for which reason they did this. But deepest inside I knew, that I was a real pilgrim, I had a story to tell, I walked the line, I did 8-900 kilometers in 38 days, and suddenly the tears came and along the last 5 km into the sign of the cityport, my tears silent run down my cheeks, I couldn´t stop them, and I didn´t even try to remove them from my face.. And then suddenly I was at the cityport, and some Korean friends/pilgrims took pictures of me, and they said: YOU are suppose to raise your arms and say “YES I DID IT”, I then told them I couldn´t, but we smiled, and hugged each other, for all of us had tears end were really sentimental human beings there.
YES WE DID IT , we did really walk all these kilometers through Mountains, Mesetas, City´s, rain, sun, mud, real nice roads, real dangerous path´s, through thoughts where we called our GOD for help, through thoughts, where we laughed for no reason, we walked with and without other pilgrims, we walked these 800 km with GODs and the angels help. God and the angels helped us to open our mind, to see the world is full of love, to let us know, that if we could do this walk, we could do everything, everything is possible, to let us know that love and happiness and faith is all you need to keep continueing, even though your feet, angle, shinbones are hurting, even though you are in all kind of pain.. Have faith, faith faith 🙏
Yes I entered Santiago in tears, but also in gratefulness, for I had never thought, that this walk, could give me anything than blisters and pain, but it did, it gave me so beautiful views, it gave me inner peace, it gave me new friends, it gave me the feeling of belonging, the feeling of no one of us is different, we are all alike, no matter our color of our skin, no matter age, no matter genres, we all want the same, and that is properly to live a full life with joy and happiness inside and not to be scared of war. And then most of all, it gave me strength and new ideas of what to do with my life. Even though there was not a flashlight coming down from heaven.
To be in the Cathedral the next morning, was very emotional as well, the priest told us, that he knew which travel inside ourself we had done during this Camino, because he also had done it himself years ago. He also told us that even though many of us now was thinking that the Camino was to end in Santiago, then he knew, that Santiago was not the end, but the beginning of the Camino, and he said, from now on, the Camino will always be with you, and from now on you know, that whatever you want to do, you can really can do! And you will have the Camino in your thoughts.
Many of you will tomorrow go to Finesterre to finish the person you were before the Camino, and put the new YOU on the path, the you, you became during this walk. May the Camino for always be with you 🙏❤
After and up-hill there will always be a downhill, and after the downhill, there will for sure come an uphill. Life will always have up- and downs, sorrows and happiness will always be a part of our lives, for have we not experienced either of these, then we had not lived our lives truly. We are not supposed to give up in pain, there is no other way out of pain than to walk on.
When I on the Camino had this enormous pain, sitting in a pension one morning with so much pain, I was thinking, how to get of this Camino, from this place, in this small city in the middle of nowhere., And my next thought was, well how can I continue with this serious pain? Then I realized, that there was no other escape, than to continue, there was no way out of it, I had to continue! I did then put my booths on, put my backpack on my back, took my best friends = my walking sticks in my hands, slammed the door and continued! I really realized, that there is no escape from the world, other than just go on with my life.
My body, mind and soul needed this walk to recover from stress symptoms, my body, mind and soul needed this walk to find peace deep inside of me, my body, mind and soul needed the walk, just because I needed to tell people around me, how they can- and will be able to change their life /lifestyle, if they want too !!!.
I am not religious, but I am very spiritual, so all the times I have been writing about God, it´s up to you, my dear reader, to decide if its means you believe in the God above us, or the God inside of you?? <3
But I had the feeling, from church to church I was visiting, that Madonna, Santa Maria, Jesus and all the other figures became more and more alive on this tour, and even Madonna was crying with me in the Cathedral this last day 🙏 ❤
Would I walk the Camino again? YES YES YES! And did I wnt to to finish it off at Finisterre, YES ofcourse I did.. BUT by bus 😄
This is the end of my story at the Camino, but it´s not the end of my blog, I will continue writing from India, when I go back there in the end of july 2018, but for now I will wish you to have a wonderful summer, where ever you are in the world.
Thank you so much to follow my blogs, and I hope you have had joy out of it. Please stay on for the next chapter of “SOAP”.
In love and light, Namasté 🙏 ❤Lilly Acacia