Doubts, when you move to something new


This last week I have been in 7 minds, because I knew that my time I Mandrem Beach, was about to end, I felt that I was in need of a change.

Everything in Mandrem was about to close down for this season, and the hole city was almost oozing of heavy energy, as more and more shops gradually was closing down and the craftsmen- and ladies was starting a noise of reconstructing and building  hotels which already was there, and new big amazing ones to be finished at the start of next season.

The street in Mandrem Beach where everyone is calling for me with their “madam, come and look my shop” and my almost as boring answer to them “Sorry, no more space in my suitcase”. Every one of the shop owners knew, that I wasn´t going to buy anything, but they also knew, that there would not, be many more customers this season, cause the stillness slowly got more and more noisy.  So they took every chance for sale they had, and when I answered them, they only was smiling and laughing. Sometimes it felt like one big joke between us.

The friends, I through the years have found in this small city, also knew it was time for me to go on my journey. They knew it was a question about days, before they were going to say goodbye for a half or a hole year. But they also knew, that this was not only about a goodbye to me, but also to all of the citymembers, because most of the people from the shops and restaurants, are only here for the season, then they have to return to their homes in Nepal, Delhi, Rishikesh, Mumbai, Karnataka and Kerala, cause they are from so different places in India.

They are all travelling to Mandrem Beach, when every new season begins, and at the end of season, they need to go home and spend 4-5 month with their family,

And for my relations at Ashiyana Yogacenter (which almost has been my home every year in February in the last 6 years) So is it almost the same, her are most of them working as season workers. All of them, there clean the place, make our food and spoils us every day, will soon be going home to their family. This also concerns the yogateachers and the therapists. Only few of the caretakers are staying to rebuilt for next season, and this also applies for some of the directors.

So everything are oozing of completion after a busy season and for me, well, I had now to figure out what my next step should be, and that ended up to be, that I was going for Palolem and Patnem, where too, I arrived yesterday after 2,5 hours in a hot taxi from Mandrem J

Palolem Beach

 So now I am landed and will be writing in present tense, well, sort of I believe ha ha ha J

I must tell you, that here is a total other atmosphere than in Mandrem, here are full of foreign  tourists like Englishmen and Germans, not many French people nor Danes. But there are also a lot of Indian people on holidays as well. This is a very busy beach and the members of the city are busy recruiting customers to all their guesthouses and to see, that everyone can get fish for dinner each night. Her has also started up a new tourist attraction like taking tourist out sailing to see dolphins, snorkeling and to look at the cliffs.

Here is incredible beautiful, but the ocean, air, and all human beings are otherwise busy and everything is oozing of our usual european lifestyle for an holiday. This phenomena will (well I believe) ufortunately also come to my loved Mandrem Beach within the next few years.  It is still possible to bagain about the prices here and it´s now possible (due to the end of season) to find a beachhut for a price as low as 500 Rs, that will be around 6 english pounds, If you do not care about the quality.

However, I don´t believe this place contains my needs of energy and air, so tomorrow I will be going to look at Patnem beach, there should be more peacefully.

BUT about the doubts, I started to write about, so it is about “what now, where to go, because I am not going back to an job, instead I am on a journey to see and feel foreign culture. I know I am on my way to Kerala, Amritapuri Ashram from next Saturday, where I again will be experiencing new things and places and meet new people. But still I feel this doubt there are whispering to me:

Do I do the right thing? Do I have the right to receive this luxury, and do as I want? Am I just as worthy as everybody else, who need to go home to attend a job? Am I ready to defy my insecurity and fears for all new? And what about my fear for spiders, other insects and hights, will I be able to handle these fears? What will I meet at these new places?

Is it this fear there is doing, that I am biting my teeth through the nights, so I already had been to a dentist, cause I broke a tooth a few days after arriving and had to get a root canal treatment. Well now I can tell you, that Indians are professionel dentist as well in Denmark. Nobody should ever be afraid to go a dentist here, there is no hocus pocus, they did a good job.

In fact, I am in no doubt that it is my fear, of all the unknown there did the dentist to an reality, because every morning when I wake up, I have pain in my teeth, so I know, that I buckle and bite together during the nighttime. How ever I also believe, that as soon I have a room in the ashram, I will find peace to go deep and let every doubt go away.

I am really happy that life has be giving me this chance to travel, meet new friends, create new connections, to learn and discover the real Ayurvedic lifestyle and to grow into doing this blog and in long term to be able to write my book.

I am really thankful to my children, family, friends, yogi´s for being there for me, and to make this journey possible ❤ In same time has the universe, my guardian angels, and my inner universal God, shown me through all the things, there fall into place, before I went from home, that this journey has been planned all the time. It was however just a question, about time when I was ready to integrate it into my life. , and in a long term, it seems like I am going to create connections between my place to study, Amritapuri and the Danish people, create retreats and spread my knowledge about hole human being.

Life is af huge and exciting journey, if you dare to receive it. I am so happy and thankful that I dare to take this gift.

In light & love, namasté 🙏❤

Lilly Acacia

The sacred dance

The sacred dance

Sometimes you have til experience something new and that is why I am here in India right now, to experience, to learn og and just to be.

When I was younger, like a teenager, there was some words, people told me was significient for me, and these words I have been carrying heavy around in my backpack ever since. And now some of these words, will actually be in this text, because it tell you so much about this sacred dance. So now my friend, I actually will tell you one of my biggest secrets, so I can put them away, let them go:

I was to be very stubborn, I was wild (cause I always have to improve everything), I like to tell people against (contradict) and I was very noisy, cause I loved to sing and dance.

I am probably still these words cause:

Stubborn, when I put myself up to do something, then I won´t stop before I have done it.

Contradict people, yes some people tell me that I am still doing this, but factum is, that I have stopped most of it, cause I don´t want to discuss, that is a waste of time and good energy. Then I rather say nothing, if I do not agree with people.

Wild, yes I am wild, cause I love to challenge myselv psysically, mentally and are ready to move to do it.

Noisy, well here is actually something I have forgotten to be in my last 30 years, and why is that? Well that’s because I have been a devoted mommy and wife and in these years, while my kids was growing up, I forgot about my bodys demands to be wild, to sing, to dance.. I had sparetime, so I could have done it, but my husband did not like to dance and hear dance music, he enjoyed to hear heavy metal. So my music just died somehow and so did the dance in my life.. I forgot it because of this, and certainly also because, I had more and more to do in my daily life.. I actually believe that’s how life is, such a normal thing.

BUT; one of the things I told myself within I went from Denmark to India, was, that I through the silence would like to embrace music and dance and this wild girl into my life again, well it might be a little late, but nothing is to late before you end up dead, right? So, here is what this story is about:


Imagine a slow tired friday morning, to get out of bed and go to a yoga session, this session actually was very shaking one, so wild shaken, which launched a huge freeing process. And while I am writing this, I still get high about thought of this session.

It showed, that this yoga morning would be about “letting go” and just shake your body free of any tightness you must have stored in your muscles and your mind. We started out with an laying meditation about embracing the five elements in our body and mind, and then in a quiet calm way waking up our tired morning bodies.

And then, there were absolutely no more stillness, cause we started to shake our body from our feets and up, to a wild music which invited us to shake, and at last this shaken, got us into a so called trance dance. This called for the wild woman inside of me and I couldn´t stop dancing and shaking, cause I got this high feeling of this shaking, so it was kind of a sadness, when the music slowly stopped and we were asked to lay down into shawasana ( dead mans yogapose) as you use to relax after a yogasession.

The breakfast was calling and while we were eating, our dancing yogateacher told us, that this session was the last one she was going to have at Ashiyana this season.. So sad L Then we talked about that we wanted more of this, cause it had been such an amacing experience. Then another yogateacher told us, if we were interested, she would be delightet to take us for a dancemeditation in Arambol at a place called “The Source” this same evening. She said it would be like a wild ecstatic dans around a huge Banyon tree in stillness for two hours and then after that, there would be a meditation.

And yes some of us, was dying to go there and embrace this kind of dancing. Cause these kind of experiences you can´t get enough of.

Sooo, we met at dinnertime, where we were eating this wonderful organic meal, as we all love at Ashiyana, at after that we went to Arambol for dance and meditation. This evening I saw a part of Arambol, that I no earlier had seen. The taxidriver drove us behind Arambol, through very tiny streets out to the place where The Source was locatet. When we went out ouf the taxi, the first thing we met was a pig with a little piglet, so cute and still so much india, cause where else in the would would you experience a pig nereby a danceplace..

When we walked to the entrance we heard loud music and we met a group of people whom was smoking, (no smoke or drinks or talking within the walls), but actually these people was not smoking normal tobacco.. Another thing there is significient for India . But still inside of the outside dance and meditation place, there was none of this aloud, so people had to go outside if they had these tendencies.

Inside the dancefloor which were surrounded by high walls of bambus, this music was loud, and then it´s just began.. Our feets just startet tripping on this vinyl floor and in the middle of this, there was this amazing huge banyon tree, which were surrounded of most possible 200 sweating bodies, whom were dancing.. It was amacing to watch.

We closed out eyes and quietly we started  to get into this exstatic dance and inner wellness. Our own dance, began to be like the others, more and more wild. Wooow, which feeling, so freeing, so happy expressions from everybody at the floor, smiling eyes and mouths met me, when I opened my eyes to look at those dancing sweating bodies, wearing more or less disent clothes, (no nakedness though) where I was dancing. It was wild, so wild wild wild !!!

Two hours of this shaking powerful music and dance was quietly released into a quiet song, there slowly told people to stop dancing, and lay down at the floor in shawasana and give into a meditaion and sigh the exstatic energy out of our bodies. After that, we sat up in a huge round cirkel to hold around each other and hold hands and go for the three Ohms and blessings for the space we were given to do this in <3

I was so high on life, and so was all the other friends I came there with, so we decided that it was absolutely not the last time, we enjoyed this. And on our way home, we stopped at the grocery shop to bye something to drink, at there people told us to be quiet, because the time was late, actually it only 11pm, but that is late in this little city.

It was very hard to go to sleep, so Maja and I decided to go to the beach, and talk for a while, so time became late before we went into sleep.

A day in India which started and ended with a freeing dance ❤

And – Then, just to say it out loud, we were going for this dance once more time yesterday evening as well. Same place, same time but a different DJ. This DJ told us later that it was him there had made this dance possible, together with his sister and his landlords and nabourougs from the beginning to the end of season, which apparently showed to be the Wednesday.. This evening it was even more beautiful, cause he was a very good Dj, and he served us with a huge “Gong bath” during the meditation.. It was amazing, everything this night was so amazing, that I will be thinking of taken this kind of experiences to Denmark.

I will by my heart recommend you to try this if its possible <3 But to begin with I like to recommend “Lalita Marmeka´s ecstatic shaking workshops, she will be teaching some places in Europe this summer, and I believe she will be visiting Denmark in august. You are welcome to take a look at her homepage:


Yes, I have to say, that I really found into my wild dancing life again, It was so freeing, so wonderful. I learned this day and night, that I can dance forever and how importen it is to keep the dance in our life, thorough our hole life, even also, if you have husband/wife/children.. Please do not forget to dancing, it is liferescueing, it it the happiness of life you put on hold, if you don´t dance.. So go for the dance and let go of your tighteness..

I am so high on life <3


In love & light, namasté 🙏 ❤

Lilly Acacia